Glad to see you...

If the gaming industry is an automobile, and the game designers are the drivers, then that makes us, the players, backseat drivers, and we'll be damned if we're gonna let the industry keep on heading the way it's going (good or bad) without letting them know what we think. So buckle up, feel free to complain about there being no air in the back, and bring your most critical and analytical mind to the open air discussion of the current age, Backseat Gamers!
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Thursday, January 21, 2010

Time to complain!

With everyone complaining and hating on the Wii, I decided I wanted to complain too.  Unfortunately, my position in retail forces me to complain about the technology in moderation.  Ignorant Wii customers on the other hand... it's open season.


1. Blissfully Ignorant - These people don't have a clue, will never have a clue, and don't want a clue.  They come into the store, cash in hand, ready to make a huge purchase that they have done no research on whatsoever.  A lady actually told me once, "I don't know anything about the Wii, but I want one, and make sure I have everything I need to enjoy it."  What the hell?  That's like me walking into a car dealership and saying, "Hey, I don't know how to drive, but I heard that cars can be really fun, so get me the one that everyone else has, and make sure I've got all the attachments and gizmos I need to enjoy it."  My customers are just lucky I have some integrity, otherwise they'd be buying one of everything... everything!


2. The Poor Family - This one breaks my heart a little bit, but it still kinda grinds away at me.  Lower income families know how to live within their means - they don't go on big vacations, they don't buy fancy cars, and they don't spend a lot of money at one time on entertainment.  The Wii, is deceitfully high though.  From a simple functionality standpoint, sure, anyone can pick up a Wii for 200 bucks.  But after the additional remote is thrown on, extra nunchuck, 2 games that aren't Wii sports, the classic controller, and a stupid ass tennis racket attachment so their idiot children don't have to use any part of their imagination ever again, we're looking at well over 500 dollars.  If you ever want to play anything else again, it's an easy 30 dollars a month, if you spend moderately.   (Point to mention, it's not the money not being there that bothers me on this, but that I'm the bearer of bad news when I ring up the final bill, making me the bad guy.)


3. "Wii Sports, Please" - I swear, is everyone in this country stupid?  I can't even count how many Wii systems I've sold to customers who only want to play the Wii sports.  Why?  It's not even that good! Sure the controls are smooth for the most part, and the bowling is a great way to kill an afternoon at a boring party, but is it really worth owning? If a company other than Nintendo would have marketed an at home bowling simulator you could play on your TV, would it have moved 56 Million units world-wide?! No way, Jose...

4. Fuzzy Memories - "So like, I was at a friends house, and he had the Wii out. We were like throwing something at the boards, and then the points came.  I think it was like a blue case or something... no that's not it, we have that, it sucks, no, this one was like way cool... God, I wish I could think of the name... Game Hunter, or something... I think it had... no wait! That is it, yeah, that's it, I'll have that."

(2 Weeks later)
"That wasn't it. What do you mean I can't return it?! Shit!"

5. Misinformed Gamer - I think the reason console debates happen, specifically one being better than the other, because for the most part, we only can afford to invest in one system.  As we grow up and get more disposable income, this becomes less of a problem, but there still are a great number of people out there who are less interested in experiencing everything the industry has to offer, and hyper focused on making sure they invest in "the right one."  Enter, the misinformed gamer.  You probably know him.  He believed the promises and lies, followed all the rumors surrounding this new thing Nintendo was working on.  Integrating motion into the strong gaming tradition that made Nintendo the household name it is today, it was going to "Revolution"ize the industry, setting fire to all it's competitors in a fury of badass console exclusives.  Mario, Link, and the rest were back with a vengeance, and this time, we would have the ultimate control....

Turns out this guy spent 250 bucks to play some crappy sports game, and Nintendo gave up on the hardcore life-long fans.  Enjoy your bowling simulator you poor sap.  I pitty this guy, because Nintendo still had a fairly decent track record.  GameCube, had it's low points, but it never gave up on the hardcore fans - look at GOTY Resident Evil 4, baby! Cmon!  This unfortunate soul ends up wandering the walls of retailers, slowly searching through all the shovelware titles, hoping that maybe he missed soemthing in gaming news.  Maybe, just maybe, something awesome has come out, that doens't have the words 'group', 'party', or 'super-fun-awesome-bowling-time', on the box...  It's a lost cause kid.  (I bet he had a Dreamcast, too, the chump!)

I'm sure there's some more out there, but I've got to get a jump on my day here.  If I think of any more, I'll be sure to add them in the comment section.  Peace out gamers!

7 comments:

  1. All of you poor, bitter gamers who feel so betrayed by Nintendo and how it doesn't appeal to the "harcore" gamer anymore. I little has changed with Nintendo and the "hardcore" gamer has changed. That's the problem. I grew up playing Super Mario Brothers and Legend of Zelda and Secret of Mana and what not. All great games but as I grew up, I swithced over to the Playstation. I never owned a Gamecube because I felt I had moved past that. I still own a SNES and still put it out once and a while but... I think everybody is hating on Nintendo for changing when they've failed to look in the mirror. People want Modern Warfare's and Mass Effects and Dragon Ages. Sorry, but Nintendo never made games like those, not even back in the day. What we want with graphics, story-telling, character development, etc. was never (ok, maybe occassionally) found in those old games (I thought of Chrono Trigger).

    I still stick to my claim that there are millions of people who enjoy the Wii and love it and without it, would never be playing video games at all.

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  2. My main reasons for buying a Wii were for Zelda and Smash Bros. Mainly Smash, since I played the crap out of Melee. I was so hyped for Brawl, but when it came out I was very disappointed... The most painful part about that game was that, with just a bit more effort, it could have been excellent. Imagine having DLC for that game, with the ability to download extra stages and characters every so often. It could have been great, and easily would have sold thousands of more copies, if not a million. But alas, the Wii isn't "that" console. It's a Gamecube and a half. With no HD support and a piss-poor online service, how can they say that it's a next-gen system with a straight face? Because of waggle? Waggle that wasn't even perfect until MotionPlus was available?

    I'm reminded of an incident when a European representative of Nintendo claimed that the only people who wanted a hard drive for the Wii were "geeks and otaku".(http://nintendo.joystiq.com/2008/06/11/nintendo-says-only-geeks-and-otaku-want-a-harddrive/) Of course, he retracted that comment later, and Nintendo EVENTUALLY added the ability to boot games from SD cards. But even before then, the homebrew scene found a way to boot games from an external hard drive. And even before then, found a way for the Wii to read DVDs! If it has the potential, why not utilize it? Why not appeal to both markets? Why alienate your loyal customers who have supported you throughout the years?

    W
    H
    Y
    ?

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  3. I'm not sure the graphic claim is really valid here. It's true, I want things to look as nice as they can, but really when was the last time we let gameplay or story slide because it "looks great?"

    I'll also take this time to mention than I'm not the biggest fan of the terminology being used to classify gamers. Casual, Core, Hardcore... what do these mean in a practical sense of classification? I like shooters, but I play occasionally, where do I fit? What about the incredibly passionate puzzle game player? My main issue here is that some of the adjectives used to classify gamers refer to content, some refer to genre, and others refer to frequency of usage - what an ineffective system.

    I think it's how we look at growth, and where we want to go... Is it fair to say that gamers want games like MW2, or Dragon Age? It's true that it's what we want now, but is that because those games have true timeless qualities about them, or because it's what we can play right now?

    Gah... taken too seriously. I was venting for some humor and instead I got a real discussion - you guys stink!

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  4. ur teh stnk

    Not every game should be an totally serious and epic experience like DA and MW2. I really like the Layton series for being a change of pace from my typical game, a nice and lighthearted puzzle game (which will, on occasion, piss me right the fuck off, but that's my dum brain's fault, not its).

    I guess it's fair to say that most gamers either want a game with good story telling and/or substantial gameplay. A lot of people really enjoy what Mass Effect and Dragon Age has to offer. I'm not one of those people. What I really enjoyed was Bayonetta's gameplay and premise, but the story itself should not be taken at all seriously. The Layton games feature a very rich, detailed world to immerse yourself in and some clever puzzles to solve, which make it such an excellent game. But when you pick up a Wii remote and read on screen "hit dat thing with the thing," you begin to wonder why you're even playing.

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  5. Def got serious and all of you have good comments. I just love to bash Nintendo.

    Original post: HAHA As funny as your article is it isn't nearly as funny as listening to you tell it over the phone or LIVE. You def get a perspective few of us have and you know I'll always love hearing those stories. My fav is still the mom that told you she'd rather have her kid shooting people than animals. A MAZING!

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  6. Oh my goodness, don't start me on how folks handle the ESRB... talk about creepy parenting.

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